I was watching Bruce Springsteen on 60 Minutes a few weeks ago, and really listened to the lyrics of his song "Baby we were born to run."
A story of the young working class rebelling against the 'runaway American dream." Tramps like them had an inherit right to and were born to run. They will likely grow up into respectable young working class families, with good values and an understanding of their own children's needs to rebel. They will become soccer moms or coaching Dads. There might be a few more tattoos and piercings, and their careers might have taken a sideways turn, but they will make it through.
And so I look at my own daughter and realise it is no different to what my Miss M is going through. She has taken a sideways turn. She is defending her right to run. But there will come a time when she will try to slip herself back into the society that I mandate she conform to, the society that we currently live in. There will be a few faded tattoos and a few piercing scars, but she is a good, strong young woman and the values that she has grown up with are still there and they are still shining through.
None of this is of any help to anyone who is currently going through this, and it wouldn't have helped me when we entered this trajectory four years ago. It is overwhelming. It is scary. I was terrified that it was a permanent condition, or that it could possibly get worse. Of course, for some, it will, but our story stopped at a mere rebellion against education and conformity.
But my Miss M is on her road to recovery. Luckily her rebellion drew a line that she didn't cross. Nothing that she can't come back from. And, if I'm to be honest, probably not a lot different to where I was 20 years ago.
Above all else though, we still like each other. :-)
Love you, Miss M!! xo
We expect so much from our children and even more so from our teenagers that we forget that they need space and opportunity to grow, experience, fail and learn to be their own person. A beautiful post and I do love that song xx Josefa from #teamIBOT
ReplyDeleteIt's so hard when they're entering their teens though, we've spent so long protecting and cocooning them, that we just don't notice it's time to step back and let go of the reins. I have another teen coming, and I'm learning to go with the flow a little more. :-)
DeleteI'm a few years away from the teenage years so I have no idea how my girls will enter it. I can only hope that their scars are permanent, and they don't run too far away. I think they have some pretty great morals in place so far though, so I'll just keep working on that
ReplyDeleteYes, all those values that are in place will stand them in good stead. There might be awhile that they seem to have forgotten them, but they are still there!! :-)
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