I made light in my recent post that, at 19, Miss M is now just somebody that I used to know. Said in jest, there is undeniably an element of truth to it. She is no longer the little girl that I used to know, that used to need me, that used to enthusiastically tell me what was going on in her life (at school back then).
There came a time that I felt a deep communication black hole between us, particularly at the worst time of her rebellion. She was determinedly trying not to let me know who she was becoming, and I impotently flailed at trying to break into her real world.
Image credit: fotosearch.com
Now she is a vibrant young woman who talks to me about life, about love, compromise, values, and now even her own potential children. At times when I don’t know how to advise her to deal with a situation, I bring it back to basics and simply tell her my values with regard to relationships and life, and watch her analyse those values and implement them into her own life. I find now she repeats those same values back to me as she talks about what is going on in her life.
There are still times that she removes me from her life – usually only short periods where I am superfluous to her needs. I find this difficult – I wouldn’t maintain a friendship where somebody picked me up and put me down. But I remind myself that during these periods, she is showing me that she doesn’t need me right now – that she really is doing very well managing her own life. And that’s all we ever really want for our children, isn’t it? I know that, soon enough, when she needs something, a friendly shoulder, she will come back to us. She really is never very far away, and for that, I know I am one of the lucky ones.
Image Credit: Son C. :-)